Thoughts ON COVID19

In my usual fashion, I started a blog and then dropped it. A couple posts, and then I stopped making time.

But I want to take a minute and just word-vomit about the current Bizarre-O-World we are living in. COVID19 or "Coronavirus" hit the US full force in March and life as we know it ended. Our nation is in a state of panic and fear, bulk-buying toilet paper, hand sanitizer, and disinfecting wipes. Today, I wore a face mask to Shop At Target. My local Target. Where hours are limited, and capacity is cut in half, and carts are thoroughly disinfected, and the music on the loud speaker includes a person reminding us to practice social distancing while shopping. Lines to checkout are single file like Black Friday but you should have 6 feet between you and the person in front of you. Half the people shopping are wearing masks and a few have on gloves. Shit Is WEIRD.

I can remember back to the beginning of the year, when my friend and her husband had a long vacation abroad. They arrived in Thailand and she messaged me "your germaphobe self would be Freaking out right now. There's this 'coronavirus' sweeping through part of China, not terribly far from here, and it's causing quite a panic. Tons of people in masks. It is pretty crazy, but luckily we won't be going too close to there." But it was also around the Chinese New Year and she told me of how many people there were traveling. I had seen a single article about it and thought 'oh wow, that's crazy.' Never once imagining it would be a reality in the US a couple months later.

On March 13th, our school district canceled school for the next two weeks, leading up to spring break. At that point, we saw it coming. Several other local private schools had already taken action. Many schools across the nation had taken similar steps. Still, that Friday evening, the statement came and I honestly panicked a little. Three Whole Weeks with my kids home all day every day! How was I supposed to work?! How bad was this mess really getting? My parents were in town then. Baseball opening day was scheduled for Saturday. We had plans for a birthday lunch celebrating me and my dad on Sunday. After So Much deliberation, opening ceremonies were canceled but games were held on a modified schedule to promote social distancing. At the time, groups were supposed to be around 100 people or less. We ended up having to suspend games midday - right in the middle of Harper's game and before Braxton ever got to play. Sunday, we debated going to lunch but ultimately decided to do it. It was eerie as we sat in Longhorn on a Sunday at 12:30pm with a total of maybe 5 tables filled. That was only the beginning. My parents headed home Monday and I knew it would be the last time we would see them for awhile. Our spring break cruise got canceled (we had already decided not to go). We actually brought home a puppy that Sunday as if there wasn't enough chaos occurring LOL

Things continued to escalate. Stores started changing their hours. Restaurants went from half capacity to carryout/delivery only (or closed completely). Other states started ordering "Shelter In Place" Companies started sending everyone to work from home. Before Spring Break week was over, the school district decided to end school for the remainder of the academic year. We have 'distance learning' to complete but it won't be graded. High school seniors are considered graduates as of last week. Sports are canceled, proms are canceled, graduations are canceled, weddings are canceled. Hospitals nationwide have strict (most zero) visitor policies. Women are having babies alone or with a single partner who cannot leave the hospital for the entire stay. The CDC now recommends the general public wear masks when going out for essential items. Almost any store still open is offering curbside pick up options. No groups of more than 10. Don't hang out with anyone you don't live with.

It's like an alternate universe. I am a person with anxiety. I have the most vivid imagination and often times dream up elaborate worst-case-scenarios. But when my friend told me about this virus in China I NEVER thought for a second it would travel here and completely shake us to the core. The government is issuing 'stimulus checks' to (almost) everyone. Theme parks are shut down, currently until at least June. Everything is fluid. Decisions are made on a two to four week basis. Alabama finally issued 'shelter in place' until the end of April.

At this point, there is no known end. Or even an idea of how it could end. The virus isn't going to be magically eradicated. Once the shelter orders are lifted, people will continue getting sick. The goal right now is just to make sure the hospitals can handle the capacity of patients and not run out of ventilators.

Even as I write all this, it feels like some distant land or a weird novel. This simply cannot be our reality. My five year old, Harper, said yesterday "Mom... this {curbside pickup at a restaurant} is because of coronavirus, right? To keep people from getting sick?" I said yes. She continued, "I hate this coronavirus. We can't be with people. We can't see grandma and papaw. This is just the worst ever!" I know baby, I agree. "Mom," she asked, "is this a dream?"

My five year old articulates it all better than me.

There are some positives in the midst of all this, and maybe I'll do another 'silver linings' post soon. But tonight I'm just in awe and confusion of how this is even reality. And I wanted to take a minute and document this weird feeling and these weird moments and this peculiar, bizarre, confusing time we live in.